Talking with your child
How to understand the reason, speak with the coach and agree on the next step. Practical guidance without pressure or promises of instant motivation.
“I do not want to go to training” may refer to today, a particular exercise, the group or the sport itself. Avoid making a decision in the middle of a morning argument. At a calm moment, ask when the reluctance started and which part of class feels hardest. “Which part of training would you like to change?” leaves more room for an answer than demanding an immediate explanation for lost motivation.
Look at the whole day: school, travel, meals, homework, other activities and rest. Sometimes the timing or number of commitments needs to change, rather than the sport. Together, identify where the rush begins and what could move. Do not add more classes as a way to “get used to the workload.” First check whether a typical week still has room for rest and free time.
Your child may not understand an exercise, know how to approach the coach or want to work with a particular partner. Ask them to describe what happened in their own words and let them finish. Do not dismiss their feelings by saying “there is nothing to be scared of.” If they describe pain, humiliation or unwanted contact, do not ask them simply to put up with it: stop their involvement in that situation and address it with the responsible adult.
Share your child’s actual words without labels such as “lazy” or “weak.” Ask at which stage of class the difficulty arises and whether the tasks match their experience. The agreement may involve clearer instructions, a different training partner or another group, if one is available. The coach should explain the next step; parents should then describe it to the child in language they understand and listen to their response.
A beginner is still learning their way around the space, following instructions and trying unfamiliar movements. They do not need to want medals or matches from the start. At BORETS, children can train without competing; a competitive pathway is discussed separately. If competitions themselves are what worries your child, clarify that boundary with the coach and do not treat agreeing to attend classes as agreeing to compete.
Discuss two realistic options your family can support: another available time, a conversation with the coach before class, or a break with an agreed date to revisit the question. Do not promise a group change until the coordinator confirms it is possible. A younger child needs an adult’s help to choose; a teenager should take part in decisions about their schedule and training goals.
Instead of insisting on “finishing the whole season,” agree on a clear next step and a time to talk again. For example, after a session arranged with the coach, discuss whether the task was clearer and working with the group felt more comfortable. Do not judge the outcome only by the absence of protests before leaving home. Your child should be able to say what has changed and what still needs the adults’ attention.
Notice specific actions: your child packed their belongings, asked a question or tried an unfamiliar exercise. Constant comparisons with more successful participants, or a promised gift for every session, shift the conversation away from their own experience. Ask what they would like to learn to do. A goal can be small and can change; it does not have to match their parents’ sporting expectations.
If your child still does not want to continue after discussion and agreed changes, consider a break or another activity without treating it as failure. At BORETS in Kropyvnytskyi, the coordinator can help review age, experience, available groups and travel to the gym. Choosing a suitable environment starts with that information. The family’s task is to find a practical way to keep physical activity in the child’s life, rather than win an argument.
Join BORETS
Tell us the athlete’s age, experience, and preferred location. A coordinator will check the current schedule, answer your questions, and recommend a specific group.
